Common Choices Contd.

Sorry, can't get other post to edit correctly, (???), so finishing up on new post. Enjoy!

To continue: Societal expectations find a method of enforcing their culture's paticualar mores, values, and paradigms. Though this may increase the cohesion of the society as a group, constant barrages of even small percieved failures can take their toll on individuals. With the worrier, fear of a wrong choice can build until meltdown or catatonia. Unfortunatly, such a natural reaction only serves to increase the near panic of disapproval through the unknown and the cycle begins anew.

Neither irresponibility and a carefree manner nor stressed psychic attempts at anticipation of expectations is a happy bunny filled trail. It's obvious the answer to dealing with the unfortold stumble is to find a middle ground. Most people achieve this instinctually, without need to acknowledge the hows and whys of their now. For those tripping over the unseen stairs though, either by not noticing them enough or too much of them at once, recognizing their own potentials is risky.

Common Choices

If fiction mirrors reality, then one of the universal royally convoluted truths that fiction highlights is the importance of banal, common, choices. A man is paralyzed in an accident: one he would have avoided by minutes if he had not decided to go ahead and throw the laundry in the dryer. A woman on her break decides on one interchangeable fast food joint over another and is bought lunch by her future husband. To parody an ever-playing advertisement; their kid cures cancer - or becomes a mass murderer. Who knew curly fries instead of regular ones were so critical? Reactions to everyday choices and their impacts -good and bad - vary, but the general vibes are ones of worldly suffering through such drivel or unspoken rising tension as fiction is held as a standard for the writing of real life. We sigh or smile, raise the expectations, and begin playing out possibilities good and bad. In defense against unwanted emotions by all parties, the only socially acceptable thing to do is mock the screen, the writing, the acting, the novel.



And yet. Outwardly jaded as our multi-choices-a-second culture has become on the subject of serendipity, there is still a sparkle in our tones as we tell the stories of first meetings, windfalls, and happenstances. We have a harder time accepting death or emotional loss if it is "just so senseless" and without a socially acceptable or reasonable cause. We say 'thank goodness I...' on the blessings and 'if only...' on the banes. There is a recognition and manifestation of common choice consequences and their myriad potentials of alternatives to our chosen normality. Jaded facades construct a paradoxical aggression defending against the idea of minor inclinations creating major sieges on our lives full of fear created in turn by our own free will. An armored culture whispers memes in our ears and we take them in, reassured, unquestioning of the comforting cliches. "Stress kills." "Worry is unproductive." "Never, ever, sweat the small things." We choose to try the advice. We ignore twinges of premonition and repress visualizing the unbidden scenarios involving a car, a ditch, and possibly an other's poaching arms when actuality is a verbose boss or clogged freeway causing delay. We are no longer the dinner companion that requires double the time to decide on an entree. Insomnia is enervated as twitchy neurons calm a frenzied exploring of future disasters. Self-worth becomes verdant and introspection reveals the id purring in a corner as the ego basks in a sun drenched now. Could there be any kind of loss associated with such a carefree paradise and security?

A parent in tune with their child will recognize the benefit in dessert. A limited sweet, it rewards, boosts the mood, and relays a simple joy. However, many of its positive qualities stem from the very fact that it is in a finite quantity and availability. Like a feather or a pretty stone in a child's wooden treasure box, the value is enhanced by its separateness. "A limitation brings appreciation." Begin spreading that sentence around and see if doesn't become a security blanket cliche as it pervades the culture, making it acceptable to say, to pleasure or pain, "Enough." One of the dangers of the carefree paradise, that deliberate decision of no worries, hakuna matata, is a lack of drive and capability caused by a pervasive attitude of any problem being of no more consequence than a slowly opening sinkhole in an open parking lot. We get so used to going around and ignoring whatever the issue is that the jolt of reality and harshness seems greater when the day comes and the obstacle is unprepared for, no longer a choice, and a chasm.

Lest there be some confusion, saying "enough" and allowing a balanced and healthy amount of worry over everyday decisions, banal and otherwise, is not to condone the seeking of the roughest route available and avoidable in a vain attempt validate self-inflicted neuroses. That kind of emotional masochism is the mirror opposite of the self-growth that the no worries meme is supposed to facilitate. It's eating dessert only to illness.

Common choices, barring coma or complete loss of self, are unavoidable, as are their unpredictable detours and sinkholes they can put in a smooth and straight planned path. To refuse concern and shun the painful maybes is to also deaden oneself to the wonder of the unexpected gems and invite an ennui, boredom and apathy, that is gilded and glittering to the point of complacency. To worry and waver with every action is to lose the amazement of everything that "now" is. Moments of worth will pass unnoticed in the concern of missing the next better opportunity or in attempting to find that other side where the grass is just a bit of a different color. The alternate is to give the worries autonomy and high command and begin preparing for Armageddon, Ragnarok, and a two week power outage with people waiting to betray your very soul for anything not anticipated. Zombies are expected.

For the overthinkers, perhaps and what-ifs of questionable probability begin to rule and the now, the only time anything is experienced for real, is lost to a quivering farsighted blindness.

Fear is an uncrowned ruler of current culture. This fear in particular is enough to reduce one's self to clinging shreds of anxiety, incapable of turning off and letting go of the future and past for even a short time. The plethora of choices in life, instead of being an exhilerating exploration and sampling of diversity, instead become an oversaturated minefield with no map and an audience you can feel and adimosity of.

Humanity still struggles with a phobia of failure and disapproval. Though methods have changed, embarrassment and shunning are still weapons we all use to express disapproval toward a given individual or group. From the stockade in the past to online humiliation now, societal expectations still

Ways of Thinking

Sorry for the long delay in posts.  Life happens and sometimes writing occurs in other forms.

There is an interesting paradox in the thinking of our culture.  

More and more, items for consumers - from electronics to food products - are being marketed as easy, convenient, time-saving and the like.  Occam's Razor rules in many regards; making things simple sells.

However, there is still a persistent mindset that things complicated, projects done 'the hard way' contain an inherent quality that makes them better in some regard.  If the job is too easy, obviously, it is worth less.

And again we come up against a binary opposition in our culture.  (For the record, by "our" I am referring to Western First World.  I am well aware that my observations may not hold outside of that reference.)  The binary opposition is one of simple/complex.  The curious thing is the way that positive and negative aspects of this opposition seem to get tangled.  The easy way is not always the best way; the hard way is not always the right way - the reverse also holds true.  Could it be that we are actually looking at something in a situational manner for once?

Of course things are situational.  Any problem needs to be approached as its own entity - such is common sense.  But how often do we actually do this?  Ever felt a task too easy for its reward, or needlessly complicated for the gain?

We all fall into certain ways of thinking.  We label problems before we have come up with their solutions.  This is not even taking into account the taboo fact that certain tasks are easier or harder for different people.  All are not created nor trained nor educated equally.

So why?  Why become frustrated at a problem or unsure of a reward because of the apparent (respectively) difficulty or ease?  Are not all problems and tasks to be taken merely as they are?

Common suffering

I work in a job that puts me in a great deal of contact with the public.  The amusing and interesting part of the job is that, when I'm not actually talking to my customers, they have a tendency to ignore me while I'm within earshot.  This leads to the overhearing of some very interesting conversations.  (Not that I eavesdrop - it's not my fault if they just keep talking while I'm a foot away.)

One of the things I have observed about people through this is that they are perverse when it comes to negative things.  More often than not, if one party begins to complain or tell a story about some ordeal they have been through, the response by the listeners is to offer quick sympathy and then attempt to one-up the misery.  Age, class, and race seem to have no bearing on this reaction.  It's as if there is some sort of status gained by having been through the most pain, physical or otherwise.

It's a form of reverse bragging.  While there are cultural taboos in place against actual bragging and bravado, it seems that to show that one has survived or endured personal hells is perfectly acceptable.  In a way, we define ourselves by that which has scarred or almost scarred us.  It's as if we say "Look what I have been through.  Doesn't this make my existence have meaning?"

Is simply enduring an accomplishment?

Honesty

I just returned home from my local video game store and have a story to share.

I bought 5 games for Yule (3 for my other half, 2 for myself - couldn't help it) and upon walking to the car discovered that I had only been charged for four.  What did I do?  Turned around, walked back into the store, got back in line and paid for the other game - which, even used, set me back another $40.  The clerk was grateful and more than a bit surprised.

I know that there are quite a few people who would have just gotten in their car and driven away.  So why didn't I?  Foremost, my integrity is worth more than money.  Beyond that however, there is a very good reason.

When you buy a game you are doing more than just killing your social life for the next 40 hours of gameplay.  You are supporting and informing.  With my game purchase I let the retailer and game industry know what kind of games I'd like to see more of.  I said, "Here.  This is worth my hard earned money.  Make more good games and they will be bought."  It's a feedback system.  In our capitalist culture this is the consumers' power.  Now, believe me, I would love to see independent game developers not have to worry about sales and be able to go right on being creative without fear of the masses' approval.  Unfortunately, reality is a bit different.  This is why it is so important for those of us with (I think) decent taste to support the game industry.  Imagine if Psychonauts had been a runaway best selling game.  Mmmm.... more games in that vein.... yummy.

I understand that games are expensive and that it's no fun to be limited by the mainstream.  So here's to all the gamers out there buying unique, obscure, and wonderful games.  Keep it up.