Stimulation and times of stop

To be honest, I'm not sure where this is going; just a bit of a random thought I had.

Stop and do not smell the roses.

The average member of the first world populace craves stimulation, seeks it.  Never are we supposed to just stop - vacations require more planning than the work we are supposedly getting away from; silence is bothersome (chirping crickets anyone?); cell phones have become all-in-one tools of entertainment and updates; TVs are in every store and restaurant because the idea of just waiting in line and doing nothing else is becoming taboo.

Stop for just a moment.  Stop reading, close your eyes and realize that the world will not end if there are a few moments in which you have no obligations, nothing to do, and no stimulation.

What happened?  Did tension loosen or increase?  Were you able to keep the to do lists out of your head?  Could you, was it possible to, just stop?

There are several potential explanations for this phenomenon.  The environment we live in; a culture that does not allow pure moments of nothingness.  It could be that to do nothing, to stop, is associated with death, creating an intuitive fear.  There is the idea of time as a limited resource; to let seconds and minutes pass with no productivity or even fun in them is seen as waste.

Even in sleep we are not simply stopping.  We are preparing for the next day (doing something, acquiring something - "getting enough sleep"); we are dreaming; the alarm clock is set and it is all planned out.  Appreciate that snooze button - it's about the only sanctioned way to take a moment of no responsibility.

The times between sleeping and not - perhaps these are the times of stop.  The dawn and dusk of wakefulness; when the bed is still warm and the most comfortable; when there is nothing in our minds but the remnents of dreams quickly fading and then nothing.

Or maybe those are merely my times of stop.  Do you have any?

New Layout, OMW, Childhood

So, what's the opinion on the new layout and color scheme?  A bit easier on the eyes?  Also, regular readers, feel free to follow (ack!  alliteration!) so I can know you are out there.

Ok, the OMW for the day is to write about one of our earliest memories.  Here, for your amusement.

I was young enough to still be crawling but old enough to be pulling up on things.  As far as I can tell, we were at some relatives' home - the carpet was a brown-orange and slightly shaggy.  I wanted my daddy but all I could see were shoes and legs.  I could hear talking and happy conversation above my head as I attempted to figure out which set of gigantic feet would lead to my father.  I thought I chose correctly and crawled over to someone sitting in a wooden chair.  I was wrong.  As I pulled up on the knees and looked up, the face I saw had a beard - my daddy did not.  I started bawling and felt embarrassment for probably the first time as the room burst into laughter around me.  After what felt like a significant amount of time, I was handed over to one of my parents.

In retrospect, I'm pretty sure it was my uncle whose lap I ended up in.  I'm sure at the time it was adorable but, just goes to show, you never know what kids will remember.

I wonder at times how much of our identity is shaped by moments like these, most of which we probably do not remember, or remember in a different light than actuality.  

OMW - Scar story

Your own scars can be a scary thing to write about. Each scar is a story, and, more importantly, a moment of vulnerability. Telling the story of a scar is, in a way, reopening that vulnerability. Especially in a public format, like a blog, to tell a scar story is to say "Here, this is part of who I am. Judge or not, as you will."

Most of my scars come from a period in time about five years ago when I was dealing with BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. Though I have recovered (and that's another story!), I still carry the almost-shame of that time. In moments of introspection I realize that I wouldn't change anything; that time of hitting bottom helped me realize myself and define who I am. I like who I am. So, why the fear? Is the need for acceptance so ingrained that to voluntarily jeopardize it will always hold a tinge of 'wrong'?

The strongest people are those who can show weakness. This paradox is well worth remembering as we are asked to tell our scar stories. Can you laugh at yourself? Can you face where you have been and say: "What a time. It broke me. It defined me. I'm better for it."?

Niches

Quickie from OMW, then onto more post:

So, a new television network... I'm in debate with myself as to what it would be.  Like the book I'm working on, my taste is eclectic.  Would it be anime, simply good shows with fantastic stories (things like Firefly come to mind), Pagan-related, history, science...?   Our world is so diverse; it is a difficult thing to settle on only one niche.

This segues neatly into some of the thoughts I've been having recently.  The Internet is currently doing to television what television did to radio.  Beyond that however, are the cultural impacts.  Conflict - especially war - requires a Self/Other binary opposition; essentially, there has to be an Us or Them mentality.  Among the younger generations, at least in my observations from a western first-world country (certainly a limited viewpoint), this is changing.  There are still Self/Other mindsets, but, they seem to be divided along different lines than has ever come before.  People are categorizing themselves now, not on a larger national basis, but more on an individual interests basis.

To pre-counter some arguments, allow me to clarify.  Yes, people still think of themselves strongly according to their nation.  Come a national crisis, this is obvious.  The point I am making is that nation as a defining characteristic is becoming secondary.  We are, instead, hoards of individuals belonging to many, many, different groups.  

It is an obvious jump to say that this is due to technology, specifically that of interconnecting.  The Internet is the behemoth of this but one cannot discount also cell phones, world broadcast media, and widespread publishing in all forms.  Like movable type, the long-term cultural ramificaitons are worth a life-time of study and just as fogged to us as to those in the 15th century.  We are in many ways in an information Renaissance.

Thanks Alice! (And, finally, a post!)

Many thanks to Alice for the One Minute Writing link - (for those interested, here's the link: http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/ )  So, here's today's...

There are certain riffs in music that I never mind looping in my head.  The bass line from Joker is one such.  Now for a tangent.

I have to wonder how much of our minds are our own.  Barring even the un- and sub-conscious, there are many examples of ways the mind defies what we consciously want it to do.  Getting a song stuck in one's head, various mental illnesses, rash impulses, that whatever one cannot seem to stop thinking about.  Now, true, the mind can be trained through various means - education, meditation, and so on - but the lack of attention often paid (or not, in this case) to a core factor of one's individuality is startling.