Working...

Working a 50 hour week (or two or three...)

Working on the JET program application process...

Working on keeping my sanity...

More posts soon.

Processes

Everything is related to process - everything we do, we do according to a process. Sometimes these processes are not conscious; an example being of course things like digestion and normal, unaware, breathing. Just as it seems there are an infinite number of actions in the world, so there are an infinite number of processes. After all, a process is simply how one does something.

A problem arises, however, when people forget the variety that defines our world. Having worked retail and foodservice, I have seen firsthand the results of people being crammed into a process that does not fit them. It's like attempting to put on a too-small shirt made of flimsy material... first the seams split, then the fabric itself, and no one is left happy. The headdesk part of the situation though is the existence of millions of other shirts behind a door everyone ignores. Routine being comfortable, or at least convincingly difficult to get out of, the door of change and diversity remains firmly shut.

I'm guilty of this on a personal level - that's what this post stems from. I had it so set in my head the way I should write and what I should be doing (what process I was supposed to be working off of) that I, ultimately, paralyzed myself.

Luckily for me, I have a genius for my other half. While at dinner last night, Andy pointed out how I've been limiting myself.

The result was exultation and personal epiphany.

Writing, technology, and relevance - Part 1

I write this initially with pen and paper; the greatest technology used being a clipboard. There is something joyous and almost spiritual in writing by hand. The words take on a personality beyond their definition and context; the traits of the markings themselves convey and infer further connotations. Here, the cursive speeds up, becoming less defined and more of a straight line as thought straightens. Here, there is a mixture of styles as thoughts spatter about. Here, a 't' is not crossed, an 'i' left undotted. Misspellings, scribbles, annotations and illegibility. Handwriting can quickly become a chaotic creative cauldron we word-witches brew letters and symbols in to produce a potion of manifested, tangible, thought.

Though I know as I write this that it will be posted on-line, I find myself in a different mindset than occurs while typing and looking at a screen. There is less distraction, less extraneous tools. I feel more free to just write, knowing I'll be able to edit later as I type.

Two nights ago I had a conversation with my software engineer boyfriend about the relevance of technology to certain fields. The obvious field to come into question and under discussion was mine - writing, literature, and so forth. The technology needed for the actual work I do is minimal. Humankind has long been writing in one form or another. What was eventually brought up was less technology's relevance to the actual work and more its impact on the sharing and distribution of the work.

Personal update

This is just a personal update for those who want it:

I officially have my Bachelor's degree in English. Plans for the future include applying to the JET program and writing as much as possible. For those who don't know, the JET (Japanese Exchange and Teaching) program sends those accepted over to Japan for a year to help with ESL (English as a Second Language) work and generally foster good relations between Japanese youth and youths from other countries (such as, in my case, the USA). The application process is almost a year long, starting this September, and if I am accepted I will be in Japan for a year starting around Aug 2009. Needless to say, I'm extremely excited about the prospect. I've visited Japan once and absolutely loved the place. In addition, I'm currently doing ESL teaching independently and it has to be one of the most rewarding and interesting types of teaching I've ever been exposed to.

As for the writing, all I can do is keep at it. I'm working on a good amount of personal work that I hope to submit to various places - so if the posts are lacking, that's why. However, that said, I enjoy the blogging as well and it keeps me in form so I will attempt to keep updates regular. Writing is lifeblood to me. Even when I'm not writing, I'm writing - turning ideas over in my head, developing characters/plots/etc, nearly dying in car accidents as I try to scribble down that really interesting thought...

On an even more personal note, Andy and I are doing well and will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary this Samhain (Halloween). For graduation my parents gave us a cruise (fun!) and so we'll probably take it around either then or my birthday in November.

If anyone has any other questions as to what is going on, just post in the comments.

Ja Ne!

-Melissa Rhys-

The nature of writing - part one of gajillion

My old fiction writing professor (Judy Troy) once told me that most of writing consists of long showers and walking the dog. She was right.

I have long had a love/hate relationship with writing on demand. There are times it is a boon - creating enough tension to cattle-prod inspiration into striking. There are also times it causes the viscosity of the creative juices to increase proportional to the deadline. Recently, I have discovered another aspect to writing on demand: the properties of it remain the same no matter the "demander" - for as of late I am both demanding and the demandee.

In front of me, in its nice tidy frame, sits my newly-minted diploma, proclaiming my prowess through the achievement of a "Bachelor of Arts (English)." On top of and hanging off of the frame are invisible goblins making faces at me every time I sit down at this computer and don't write. Some are goblins of expectations questioning why I am not midway through a major work. Some are goblins of creativity (3rd cousins to the Muses) who alternately sprinkle my fingers with magic dust of genius and magic dust of dumb. It's impossible to tell the bags apart until I'm settled in and have been sprinkled for the session. Some are goblins of guilt, some goblins of doubt - both closely related to the goblins of expectations. These are the worst, but at least they are kept under control by the goblins of confidence and support.

Credibility - you have to live up to it in order to keep it. Thus the goblins and the goal-setting. I would be writing anyway - I cannot NOT write - but in some ways I feel that my graduation has raised my standards for myself. Not low to begin with, my expectations of myself are now such that it's slightly intimidating. I'm sure other writers have experienced this; if not after getting a degree, then perhaps after their first publication or such. I'll balance out I'm sure - as long as I remember to feed the goblins.